***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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