maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
