I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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