im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
