Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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