I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
