batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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