i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
