We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
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When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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