I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
