I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
don't judge my taste in strippers
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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