New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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