Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
