I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
