pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
