Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
