My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
