I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
