do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
