she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
