ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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