She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
