when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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