I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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