guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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