he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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