Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Let's paint friendship bongs
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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