God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
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