yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
