I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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