Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
