that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
