Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
