any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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