Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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