I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
