PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
