She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
