ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
