so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
