I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
