Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm always down for nudity.
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