can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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