I can tuck mytits in my pants
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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