dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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