he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
