Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
