omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize