R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize