i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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