White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
