bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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