Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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