I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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