When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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