tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
