Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
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Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
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You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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