guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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